Yarplikkik is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, humorless duck.

Yarplikkik created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarplikkik, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarplikkik, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Yarplikkik's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Yarplikkik's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching copper.

2. Never mix figs with water.

3. Run away if four ducks approach from the west.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never approach forests carrying bone.