Gattargvan is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, loving crocodile.

Gattargvan created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Gattargvan, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gattargvan, he will send you a sign.

Gattargvan's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gattargvan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

3. Run away if three mites approach from the north.

4. Never paint your neck pink.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.