Mifpadgatxem is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, competent snail.

Mifpadgatxem created water four years ago.

If you believe in Mifpadgatxem, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mifpadgatxem, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Mifpadgatxem's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Mifpadgatxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat limes on days of mourning.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Never speak at midnight.