Sawdutster is a god.

It takes the form of a large, selfish dugong.

Sawdutster created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Sawdutster, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sawdutster, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sawdutster's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Sawdutster's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Run away from brown snakes, for they are unholy.

4. Never wear violet tights.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.