Belljabpan is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, omnipotent octopus.

Belljabpan created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Belljabpan, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Belljabpan, it will cry a lot.

Belljabpan's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Belljabpan's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Belljabpan must be the most important thing in your life.