Lammidgom is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, resourceful ant.

Lammidgom created the planet Earth three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lammidgom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lammidgom, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Lammidgom's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Lammidgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from platinum.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think about dark energy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not gather at wells at dusk.