Fadcumfem Bapnuttbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unthoughtful frog.

Fadcumfem Bapnuttbaf created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadcumfem Bapnuttbaf, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fadcumfem Bapnuttbaf, he will turn you into a hamster.

Fadcumfem Bapnuttbaf's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Fadcumfem Bapnuttbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in red.