Flowtadzim is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, sapient wolf.

Flowtadzim created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flowtadzim, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flowtadzim, he will ignore you.

Flowtadzim's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Flowtadzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Erect nine gold sculptures of Flowtadzim on top of important buildings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about amino acids.