Futyam Dogrilvid is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, temperamental dragonfly.

Futyam Dogrilvid created silver eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futyam Dogrilvid, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Futyam Dogrilvid, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Futyam Dogrilvid's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Futyam Dogrilvid's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never sing in the presence of shrews.

3. Never feed grapes to great tits while wearing violet jumpers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not eat gooseberries.