Hunbigstaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, weak seal.

Hunbigstaf created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hunbigstaf, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hunbigstaf, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hunbigstaf's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Hunbigstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never wear purple coats.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.