Tunlarnnuttwab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, weak giraffe.

Tunlarnnuttwab created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunlarnnuttwab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tunlarnnuttwab, he will turn you into a mole.

Tunlarnnuttwab's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Tunlarnnuttwab's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

3. Do not eat nuts.

4. Never remain bowed at dawn.

5. Never speak at midday.