Pitbutnull is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, omnipotent dugong.

Pitbutnull created the Cigar Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Pitbutnull, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pitbutnull, he will boil you in a big pot.

Pitbutnull's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Pitbutnull's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to monkeys while wearing red corsets.

2. Hide from white frogs for they are unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never write about optics.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.