Catnellnutton is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, pitiless monkey.

Catnellnutton created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Catnellnutton, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Catnellnutton, it will turn you into a rat.

Catnellnutton's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Catnellnutton's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention otters.

2. Put Catnellnutton first in all things.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

5. Retreat if three snails approach from the south.