Lopsandfid Arnfemnill is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, quiet penguin.

Lopsandfid Arnfemnill created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopsandfid Arnfemnill, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lopsandfid Arnfemnill, he will be very unhappy.

Lopsandfid Arnfemnill's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Lopsandfid Arnfemnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never hurt cats.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Always obey Lopsandfid Arnfemnill's priests.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.