Ortgadfet is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, confident pigeon.

Ortgadfet created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Ortgadfet, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ortgadfet, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Ortgadfet's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Ortgadfet's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tapirs.

2. Always act with patience when addressing children.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Feed all hungry seals.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.