Lenfarnlimkin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, deceitful swallow.

Lenfarnlimkin created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Lenfarnlimkin, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Lenfarnlimkin, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Lenfarnlimkin's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Lenfarnlimkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not kill manatees.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never mention bats.