Quartrowdagbagnigvigbasskom is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, effective snake.

Quartrowdagbagnigvigbasskom created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartrowdagbagnigvigbasskom, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quartrowdagbagnigvigbasskom, it will turn you into a rat.

Quartrowdagbagnigvigbasskom's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Quartrowdagbagnigvigbasskom's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never pour water over plants.