Hinomintig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous lobster.

Hinomintig created the planet Jupiter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hinomintig, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hinomintig, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hinomintig's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Hinomintig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Do not speak about gooseberries.

3. Always store spinach above ground.

4. Do not wear coats marked with green.

5. Never adorn your hands with orange markings.