Yikbesspoppog is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, merciful scorpion.

Yikbesspoppog created bats five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikbesspoppog, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yikbesspoppog, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Yikbesspoppog's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Yikbesspoppog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during autumn.

2. Do not resist balance.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near foxes while wearing gray kilts.

5. Do not drink alcohol.