Nibwegfun is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, emotional bear.

Nibwegfun created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nibwegfun, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nibwegfun, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Nibwegfun's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Nibwegfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Put Nibwegfun first in all things.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Nibwegfun on top of important buildings.

5. Never go into pink rooms.