Larplarnsug is a god.

He takes the form of a large, boastful fairy.

Larplarnsug created the planet Earth three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larplarnsug, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Larplarnsug, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Larplarnsug's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Larplarnsug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume garlic at dawn.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Never hop in the presence of geese.

4. Never feed melons to porpoises while wearing rings.

5. Never think about chlorophyll.