Funfligbissmob is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, uncaring yak.

Funfligbissmob created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funfligbissmob, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Funfligbissmob, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Funfligbissmob's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Funfligbissmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch water while tainted.

2. Never wear magenta corsets.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never whisper while facing south.