Flowcammeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, self-confident hydra.

Flowcammeg created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowcammeg, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flowcammeg, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Flowcammeg's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Flowcammeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not stand on grass.