Larncanmotnurl is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, confident bear.

Larncanmotnurl created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larncanmotnurl, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Larncanmotnurl, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Larncanmotnurl's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Larncanmotnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Larncanmotnurl.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Hide if four otters approach from the east.

5. Never feed lots of wheat to whales while wearing cyan shirts.