Bumsadbag is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, vain armadillo.

Bumsadbag created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumsadbag, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bumsadbag, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bumsadbag's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bumsadbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never hurt moths.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not keep seven ducks in a large pit.