Hogjantarg is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, wise narwhal.

Hogjantarg created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hogjantarg, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hogjantarg, it will make you grow a tail.

Hogjantarg's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Hogjantarg's Holy Commandments

1. Hogjantarg loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

2. Never think about electromagnetism.

3. Always help sick monkeys.

4. Do not kill badgers.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.