Badmettomxin is a god.

It takes the form of a large, duplicitous owl.

Badmettomxin created dark energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Badmettomxin, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Badmettomxin, it will turn you into a tree.

Badmettomxin's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Badmettomxin's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about voles.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not listen to music.