Fencuddum is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, stupid cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fencuddum created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fencuddum, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fencuddum, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Fencuddum's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Fencuddum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always obey Fencuddum's priests.

3. Never eat beans on holy days.

4. Never wear white ear rings on sacred days.

5. Worship no other gods but Fencuddum.