Largnulstip is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, loving lion.

Largnulstip created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largnulstip, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Largnulstip, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Largnulstip's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Largnulstip's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove rings before entering holy places.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Never paint your neck fawn.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Largnulstip.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.