Cusshunfid is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, resourceful jaguar.

Cusshunfid created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusshunfid, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cusshunfid, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cusshunfid's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Cusshunfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during summer.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

4. Never proclaim while facing east.

5. Never pour water over plants.