Yarpcebhad is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unsympathetic shark.

Yarpcebhad created a photon three million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpcebhad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yarpcebhad, she will turn you into a goat.

Yarpcebhad's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Yarpcebhad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Yarpcebhad.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Yarpcebhad must be the most important thing in your life.