Vagdodwad is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, prudent jaguar.

Vagdodwad created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagdodwad, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vagdodwad, she will turn you into a rock.

Vagdodwad's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Vagdodwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at midday.

2. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

3. Never travel toward the east during summer.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Vagdodwad on top of all buildings.