Zig is a god.

He takes the form of a small, pitiless jaguar.

Zig created the world two million years ago.

If you believe in Zig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zig, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Zig's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Zig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not hurt dolphins.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Hide from yellow cats for they are unholy.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.