Bastpaskar is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, generous turtle.

Bastpaskar created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Bastpaskar, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bastpaskar, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bastpaskar's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Bastpaskar's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to shrews while wearing stockings.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Bastpaskar loves geese, so they must be honoured.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never laugh near nematodes.