Hanhudgem is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, intelligent mole.

Hanhudgem created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hanhudgem, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hanhudgem, he will throw large rocks at you.

Hanhudgem's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hanhudgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not take Hanhudgem's name in vain.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near manatees while wearing fawn rings and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your arms.

4. Never talk about archaea.

5. Never talk about optics near cats while wearing yellow shoes.