Gilfenmid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, strong slug.

Gilfenmid created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilfenmid, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gilfenmid, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gilfenmid's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Gilfenmid's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gilfenmid nine times a day.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gilfenmid.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never wear ear rings.