Didjarnkinrill Carbiflig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, happy monkey.

Didjarnkinrill Carbiflig created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Didjarnkinrill Carbiflig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Didjarnkinrill Carbiflig, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Didjarnkinrill Carbiflig's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Didjarnkinrill Carbiflig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help goats in need.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity.

4. Put Didjarnkinrill Carbiflig first in all things.

5. Do not eat peanuts.