Tomdingep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, irritating chicken.

Tomdingep created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Tomdingep, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tomdingep, he will turn you into a slug.

Tomdingep's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Tomdingep's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not keep eight grasshopers in a large pit.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.