Gemzogcet is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, dishonest gnu.

Gemzogcet created an atom five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemzogcet, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gemzogcet, he will turn you into a worm.

Gemzogcet's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Gemzogcet's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

2. Never wear stockings.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Gemzogcet in the centre of the settlement.