Hitkimbab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, fussy otter.

Hitkimbab created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitkimbab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hitkimbab, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hitkimbab's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Hitkimbab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve foxes for they are unholy.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Worship no other gods but Hitkimbab.

4. Always obey Hitkimbab's priests.

5. Never talk about moons.