Hanponwee is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, capable snail.

Hanponwee created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanponwee, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hanponwee, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hanponwee's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Hanponwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never paint your neck purple.