Yarldothan is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, passionate fairy.

Yarldothan created matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Yarldothan, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yarldothan, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Yarldothan's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Yarldothan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near gulls while wearing cyan rings.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Put Yarldothan first in all things.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near aardvarks while wearing violet ear rings and balancing eight iron spheres on your arms.