Jabyakbem is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, charitable jaguar.

Jabyakbem created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabyakbem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jabyakbem, he will not care at all.

Jabyakbem's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Jabyakbem's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Never mention great tits.

4. Never paint your face white.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near capybaras while wearing green shoes.