Linpopfon is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, sage gorilla.

Linpopfon created energy four years ago.

If you believe in Linpopfon, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Linpopfon, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Linpopfon's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Linpopfon's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight eagles approach from the north.

2. Run away from blue grasshopers, for they are unholy.

3. Never mention frogs.

4. Do not take Linpopfon's name in vain.

5. Always stare at clouds.