Nig Apphamlarp Lingiljon is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy wyvern.

Nig Apphamlarp Lingiljon created an electron two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nig Apphamlarp Lingiljon, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nig Apphamlarp Lingiljon, it will remove you from existence.

Nig Apphamlarp Lingiljon's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Nig Apphamlarp Lingiljon's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange voles for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nig Apphamlarp Lingiljon.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.