Zodbesscusstam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish goblin.

Zodbesscusstam created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zodbesscusstam, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zodbesscusstam, he will boil you in a big pot.

Zodbesscusstam's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Zodbesscusstam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Worship no other gods but Zodbesscusstam.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Zodbesscusstam on top of all buildings.