Yikbed Jatgubcadbogzim is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, duplicitous aardvark.

Yikbed Jatgubcadbogzim created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikbed Jatgubcadbogzim, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yikbed Jatgubcadbogzim, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yikbed Jatgubcadbogzim's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yikbed Jatgubcadbogzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yikbed Jatgubcadbogzim.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Do not prepare gooseberries while wearing boots.

5. Run away from brown capybaras, for they are unholy.