Fabbepnak is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unjust swan.

Fabbepnak created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabbepnak, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fabbepnak, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fabbepnak's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Fabbepnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow shorts.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.