Tikpidzen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unsympathetic shrew.

Tikpidzen created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Tikpidzen, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tikpidzen, he will curse you with boils.

Tikpidzen's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Tikpidzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity.

2. Do not take Tikpidzen's name in vain.

3. Erect three silver sculptures of Tikpidzen on top of important buildings.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Tikpidzen in the centre of the settlement.