Tabbodquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, thoughtless grasshopper.

Tabbodquaf created the Andromeda Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabbodquaf, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tabbodquaf, he will destroy your home solar system.

Tabbodquaf's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Tabbodquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt badgers.

2. Do not hurt tortoises.

3. Tabbodquaf must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about comets.