Flapgabjon is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, awesome frog.

Flapgabjon created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapgabjon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flapgabjon, he will destroy your home solar system.

Flapgabjon's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Flapgabjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Never look at planets.