Betyartcap is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, prudent gorilla.

Betyartcap created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betyartcap, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Betyartcap, she will make you grow a tail.

Betyartcap's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Betyartcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study the inheritance of acquired characteristics on holy days.

2. Pray only in moonlight.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not drink alcohol.