Sogcartof is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, staggering cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Sogcartof created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogcartof, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sogcartof, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Sogcartof's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Sogcartof's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not take Sogcartof's name in vain.

3. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Sogcartof in the centre of the settlement.

4. Birds are not to be trusted.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.