Haslimquartsatfenbid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, astonishing dove.

Haslimquartsatfenbid created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haslimquartsatfenbid, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Haslimquartsatfenbid, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Haslimquartsatfenbid's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Haslimquartsatfenbid's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always cleanse blood with water.

5. Do not travel during spring.