Ruttnartpib is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, omnipotent hamster.

Ruttnartpib created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttnartpib, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ruttnartpib, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Ruttnartpib's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Ruttnartpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never mark doors with black.

4. Never pray while filled with pride.

5. Do not sprint at rivers.