Kanpadbod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, slow seal.

Kanpadbod created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanpadbod, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kanpadbod, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kanpadbod's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Kanpadbod's Holy Commandments

1. Put Kanpadbod first in all things.

2. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always wash your neck before prayer.

5. Always cleanse ash with water.