Sandboghen is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, self-confident gorilla.

Sandboghen created an electron six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandboghen, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sandboghen, he will turn you into a hamster.

Sandboghen's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Sandboghen's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

2. Always cleanse ash with water.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always obey Sandboghen's priests.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Sandboghen.