Ladloopflap is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, loving swallow.

Ladloopflap created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladloopflap, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ladloopflap, she will make you grow a tail.

Ladloopflap's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Ladloopflap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Ladloopflap in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not hurt sheep.

4. Do not keep nine rats in a large pit.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.