Gepnadgof is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, quiet penguin.

Gepnadgof created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepnadgof, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gepnadgof, it will turn you into a worm.

Gepnadgof's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Gepnadgof's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise dolphins, for they are unholy.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Erect eight aluminium sculptures of Gepnadgof on top of important buildings.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not eat spinach.