Timbemwik Gepjanhab is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless fairy.

Timbemwik Gepjanhab created an electron two years ago.

If you believe in Timbemwik Gepjanhab, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Timbemwik Gepjanhab, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Timbemwik Gepjanhab's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Timbemwik Gepjanhab's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think about eukaryotes.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.